When it rains it seems it always has to pour.

Well after the last year and a half of going through colon cancer with my mother and my grandfather who have been in remission so far, my father passing from Leukemia when I was 18, my aunt going through breast cancer and another aunt passing from lung cancer I thought that maybe we would have a break from the illnesses. Things have seemed to be going pretty well for the most part until the call came in this week from my brother whos wife has just been diagnosed with breast cancer. What a hard thing to go through. She is only 45 yrs old and is going through alot of stress. I am doing my best to stay focused on my life and be there for her and my brother during this very difficult time and to be honest I could not really think of anything else to blog about today.

Where am I going in Life?

I sat here thinking of what to write about. I came up with how much my life has changed in the past few years and started thinking if I even know where I am headed. I went from a married mother of 2 of 15 years and the administrative assistant to a corporation of three restaurants at 36 years old to a 38 yr old single mother of two who is a dislocated worker with a house in foreclosure and all material things gone. All in the blink of an eye. I am attending Kaplan to make a better life for myself and my children to rebuild a new foundation and make a better life. Thoughts still go through my head that I made the wrong decision to go back to school and struggle financially through it or just go get a job. Thats the question I ask myself everyday as I continue to try my best to keep up in school and move on..... keeping my fingers crossed it is what will be right in the end.

Little did I know I could use Psychiatric Help myself...LOL

While attending treatments and counseling with my son I found that I have some issues with my personality that inhibits me from being everything I can be. I guess I have signs of Profectionist Tendancies. Had no clue what that was or how it affected things in my life. The more I look into it the more I am learning that I could relieve alot of stress and conflict from my life by getting control of my own personal issues therefore helping my son in the process. So therapy here I come to let's see if this can help. :)

So That's Why? Hmmmmm

After a few months of going to a child psychiatrist with my son who seems to have issues being bored and school therefore not wanting to go and refusing to do the work in his class the diagnosis may be that he is extremely intelligent and has issue because he gets things the first time in class and the rest of the time it is so repetitive that he is literally bored out of his mind. So the challenge has been trying to understand why if he is so inteligent he can't figure out to make life easier on everyone and do the worki since it is easy for him and move on rather than fight it and make everyone including himself miserable. It has come to the surface that even thought he is on another intellectual level that his maturity is still of an 11 year old boy and the two just don't click yet. He has fought school and refused to do his work since day 1 of kindergarten stating it's boring and repetitive and he just doesn't want to sit and do it because it does not challenge him. It's amazing how he can go to class, do little to know worksheets throughout the day but excell and pass all state and educational testing with exceeds normal. Very frustrating being a rational do what is expected of you type person to deal with this. Takes so much time stress and energy. Hope some day his maturity will catch up to his intelligence and he will enjoy school and see that it can benefit him. I am hoping that the psychologist will be able to help him a understand.

Getting through today

Hello,
Woke up today knowing it would be a rough one. 4 years ago my best friend was killed in an automobile accident leaving behind a wife and 3 little girls. Seems like yesterday and I miss him. Have spent the day in contact with his family and just remembering him and his life and what he meant to all of us. Hard to understand how someone can be there one day and the next gone forever leaving behind people to remeber and miss them. I will always look out for his kids and forever be close with his family. A tear and a smile go out to you in heaven my friend. Miss You.